9. The Beef Jerky Condom

Why? Because I've put stranger things on my penis before. Like your mom, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Using beef jerky as a condom to prevent pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases probably is not effective at all. In fact it will probably introduce newer diseases.

It will, however, be hilarious. Just think of your girlfriend or wife's face when you come into the room wearing your birthday suit and a condom made of a wad of hickory smoked beef jerky. It will, no doubt, increase oral pleasure especially if your significant other likes salty snacks.

Do you have any ideas of using beef jerky in the bedroom? Also, tell your mom I said "Hi" OHHHHHHHHHHHH

6. Beef Jerky Facial Hair

Nothing pulls in hot tail like gnarly mustaches and facial hair. How many men do you see with a manly mustache or fu manchu with a smokin' hot girlfriend? This is because facial hair signifies manliness, confidence, success, and in some cultures royalty.

Beef jerky can be cut into nearly any type of facial hair. I'm rocking mutton chops out of jalepeno flavored beef jerky right now. My wife thought it was silly at first until random women would hit on me when we go out. This has spiced up our love life exponentially (no pun intended).

Do you have beef jerky facial hair? If so, what style are you rocking?

4. Propose to Your Girlfriend With a Beef Jerky Ring

You can buy a 5ct diamond engagement ring for $10,000 or you can spend that money on beef jerky and make your own ring!

Nothing says "love" like a giant ball of meat. That's what she said?

Ten thousand dollars can buy you over 300 pounds of jerky and that's not even at wholesale prices! A 300 pound engagement ring will tell your girlfriend that you love her and her ability to accept your dying passion for aged meat products.

Diamonds are forever but OH MY GOD DID YO SEE THAT GIRL WITH A GIGANTIC MEAT RING?

Every day I think about if I had proposed to my wife with a beef jerky, original flavor, her favorite, ring our marriage wouldn't be in shambles right now.